SASHES AND TIARAS.....Miss USA 2013 Evening Gown Website Photos, The SLIT Queens, Pageant Betty's & "Oh Dear's!"

In my last SASHES AND TIARAS post, I discussed my Faves from the Miss USA 2013 Website Evening Gown "Portraits" that were released last week prior to the upcoming Preliminaries (this Wednesday!) and Finals on June 16th. Now, as we know (if you are a Beauty Pageant aficionado--or a Missosologist, the term for a "Pageant Follower"), these evening gowns in the Miss USA 2013 Website Portraits may or may not be the actual gowns the contestants wear during the all-important Preliminary Competition as well as the Finals once they get chosen as a Semi-Finalist.







A lot of times, the girls "bust out" with a new "Super Duper" gown that they have secretly held in the back of their closet just for that moment. But, at the same time, many will just wear the same gowns worn in these portraits, whether they should or not...Anyhow, without further ado, here is my Part Two Miss USA 2013 Evening Gown Website Photos Review--





Let's start with the Sex-a-Licious Slit Queens:




Miss Alabama USA 2013 Mary Margaret McCord--Mary Margaret is all things Sex-a-Licious in this super Va-Va-Voom of a gown. It's PLUNGING up there and PLUNGING down there. First off, she's got the super high side slit, and secondly, her "sisters" are all out on display for all of America to see. Not sure if this gown is just way too distracting for the judges to even take her seriously. Don't get me wrong, she looks beautiful, but it is certainly a LOT of look.




Miss Tennessee USA 2013 Brenna Mader--Brenna began this posting with this red hot gown with, yes, a slit up to there and very exposed top section with an open back. Once again, Miss Tennessee USA Brenna Mader, fills the "Slit Queen" requisite here but then takes it too a "Oh Girl!" moment with the rest of the gown. Like I said in the beginning, this is the girl who will steal your huzzzband ladies (in this dress) so watch out! On a good note: LOVE those gold strappy heels!




Miss Virginia USA 2013 Shannon McAnally--Shannon is a beautiful girl (like all the others of course!), and while she does look serene in this ivory gown with a slit/opening at the side, it's both the pose and wide thigh exposure that makes it look as if she's about to do something very, very naughty.




Miss Nevada USA 2013 Chelsea Caswell--Chelsea is in the "Slit Queen" category, naturally because of this black sequined gown with a high side slit. I actually like this gown; it's got Glamour, red carpet sparkle and fits her well. Not sure if I would have accessorized it with nude pumps (black strappy ones might have been better), and the Uber-platform is becoming very tired.




Miss California USA 2013 Mabelynn Capeluj--Mabelynn chose this strapless shirred chiffon gown with a beaded waistband and high side slit for her "Miss USA Evening Gown Portrait". She looks sweet enough but yet again, it's the "See my entire thigh and leg" pose and come-hither face tilt that takes her to a "Sex-a-Licious" moment. The big ol' red hoop earrings are a tad too "Cha-Cha", even for me (I Love a good "Cha-Cha"!). I don't actually dislike the dress, it is more the pose and styling that is the problem.




Miss Alaska USA 2013 Melissa McKinney--Three words: Go On Melissa. She's vibing "Cleopatra" in this ivory gown with center front slit, plunging front keyhole and gold and silver sequined neck-plate. I like this gown, but...I only wish the front keyhole wasn't so...deep. It didn't need to be. She's already got the front slit happening. But I know, when it comes to Pageant Gowns and these Pageant girls, too much is never enough. I may not agree with it, but what can I do.




Miss Oregon USA 2013 Gabrielle Neilan--Gabrielle looks pretty in this white with beaded torso dress with a side slit. It's very "Pageant 101" and frankly not very original; safe in fact, and something I could have seen at the Miss USA 1998" pageant. Yes, that's FIFTEEN years ago.





Miss Illinois USA 2013 Stacie Juris--Stacy wore this strapless red applique with nude backing gown with a high-lo silhouette. It reminded me A LOT of a NIKOLAKI custom gown I created for "Entertainment Tonight's" co-anchor (at the time she was with "Access Hollywood"), the GORGEOUS Nancy O'Dell, when she co-hosted the Miss Universe 2006 pageant with Carlos Ponce (see above). I like the way the gown fits on Stacie and the nude/red colors work well. This is another way of showing a SLIT...in fact it's a big ol' OPENING!




Miss New Hampshire USA 2013 Amber Faucher--Amber is my final "Slit Queen". I left her for last because she wore a slit gown but it wasn't HOOCHIE or too "Sex-a-Licious", in fact it was just right. The gown is very similar to Miss Oregon USA's but I just think this style works better on Amber. The fact that her "sister's" aren't, well, OUT THERE (like Miss Oregon's) just makes it look more elegant and less "I'm a former stripper". Just sayin'.



The Pageant Betty's:


Miss North Dakota USA 2013 Stephanie Erickson--Nothing wrong with this gown choice by Stephanie Erickson "Miss North Dakota USA", but it just looks a little dated. The top sequined section is pretty and looks expensive but the entire thing screams "Miss USA 1994" and not something more modern, reflecting the gowns one sees on the fashion runways of Milan, Paris or NY, or on the red carpet for that matter. It's very "Pageant Betty".






Miss Missouri USA 2013 Ellie Holtman--Ellie is STUNNING, and one of the tallest contestants in this year's pageant at 5'11" in height. This very "Pageant Betty" black with sequined top section dress does NOTHING for her. In my opinion, it actually ages her. She looks like a Mother-of-the-Bride. This is a gown someone's mom would pick up at their local department store's After 5/Gown section. I think Ellie can do better, I hope.




Miss New Mexico 2013 Kathleen Danzer--One shoulder: Check! Slit: Check! Red sequins: Check! This should have been super-good but the style doesn't seem very original and once again, went into "Pageant Betty" world very quickly. At least, Kathleen was wise enough not to give Pageant Betty big pouffy hair. I give her points for that.




Miss Kentucky USA 2013 Allie Leggett--I would have not expected anything less than this frothy pink mermaid-shaped concoction from a "Miss Kentucky USA". Remember this is the Land of the Kentucky Derby, colorful suits and big ol' hats! Although she does look like a Pageant Barbie (she's beyond "Pageant Betty"!), I'm kinda liking this, for just it's "I'm going to go all the way" chutzpah. Is it an "Oh Dear!" moment? Possibly, but an "Oh Dear!" that could work.



***STAY TUNED HERE for my Recap/Review of the Miss USA 2013 Preliminary Evening Gowns later this week!